It's been a while.....

So it's been a while since I've posted anything, life has been busy and other things have come as more of a priority. Let's see....Brucie & I have now been together for 15 months and I love him as much as I did when we first started dateing. We've been through some financial hardship the past few months since he was wrongfully terminated from his job, but we have come to learn how to manage our money much better and we are actually doing pretty good......still tight, but not all that bad.....I didn't realize how much we wasted before.

Back in December I finally had my mom come over and I finally told her I was gay......I think she was in a bit of shock because she kinda laughed and asked me to repeat myself. She met Brucie that day and she hugged us both. I have to say that I have the greatest mom in the world and I love her so very much. Over Memorial Day weekend I came out to my brother and he laughed uncomfterably and said that "it explains a lot". Mom has been over a couple of times since to visit, I wish she would come over more often. Bro has been over a couple of times, both times for Pizza and to hang out. The two people I was most afraid of loosing and they love me no differently......I wish I would have came out a long time ago to them because I wouldn't have gone through some of the heartache I have gone through. I still haven't told my dad......and I'm not really sure what he thinks of me leaving and not telling them where I'm at.....mom and bro know now, but dad still doesn't.

Well, not much else has changed.....still working as the same place, same car too.......but we're looking for a car for Brucie since he got his license in March (or was it in may.....it's kinda a blur)...... Well again, until next time....

Later.

Changes in my life...

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything or updated everyone on what's going on in my life so I figured now would be a good time.

Well, I have the most amazeing boyfriend.....companion that is......I love him so much. I can't believe that I have finally met someone who loves me and I can't believe how much I love him! We have officially been together for 4 months now and living together for 3 months and I know without a doubt that he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with & someday soon I hope that he will be my husband. I know a lot of people won't agree with it, but it's their loss.

Summer has gone quick. We made a trip to NYC in July. It was then that I knew for sure he was the one. Brucie, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Well, not much else to say..... so until I post again! Later!

Moving....

Well, for those of you who don't know, Bruce & I are officially a couple and I'm moving in with him in the upcoming days/weeks. I've never met anyone like him and I really love him. We are going to NY City July 14-16th for a romantic weekend and to see the Broadway musical Phantom of the Opera. I know that people don't agree with the whole gay mariage thing and I know it's not recognized in PA, but this is the man I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

I have a lot of packing to do, I want to be completely ready to go when I come out to my mom, I'm not sure how it will go, especially when I announce that I'm moving in with Bruce. We are going to go a morning before work this week and get a queen size mattress because I'm not taking mine and his bed is to small and in bad shape. I'm also going to go get a window air conditioner because the apartment is hot and this is the first summer they have been in there so they didn't realize how hot is was going to be in there.

Well, lots of wrapping and packing to do.

2nd date!

Ok, so Bruce & I went on our second date last night (Friday). I went to pick him up and was invited in to meet his room mate Lauren....which I already knew her from Sheetz, lol. We went to Friday's to meet up with Meredith & Fran (my friend from high school & her husband) for dinner. We then did the walmart run, I like going there to walk my food off, lol. Then we went up to Hillview lanes for midnight bowling with them and Mer's brother Mike joined us. Bowling was fun....and Bruce & I had our first kiss with many more to follow, which really threw me because I wasn't expecting the first one at all..... After bowling we all went to Denny's for desert and then I took him home and before he got out we kissed again..... He really likes me alot and although we both had concerns with the age difference, he's 21 & I'm 27, we realized that age is just a number. I think we may be approaching a point of a serious commitment together (as in boyfriend/companion), but we have both agreed to take it slow because we have both been hurt in the past.

I know that some people don't agree with my decision, but it's my life to make my own decisions. I'm finally happy with who I am, I'm finally content inside. I can only hope that people learn to accept Bruce as part of my life because I want them to meet him and to know that I am being treated well.

I think I'm falling.....

I think I'm falling for him! I think I have finally met someone who likes me for me and who wants to be with me! Our first date was Wednesday and it went really well. I picked him up at his appartment and we went to dinner at Denny's and we talked for quite a while. We then went to see American Haunting, it was more funny than scarry. And contrary to popular belief, I was a complete gentleman, I dropped him off at his apartment and I left. I like him, but not completely in a physical way, I like what I see, but I like more so what is inside....I really like him. We had a good time and we are going out again Friday night! I can't wait to see him tomorrow night! Why couldn't I have met someone like him years ago instead of the heartache and emptiness I have faced? I can't wait to see you tomorrow Brucie! <3 Billy

Having a rough night....

"Good Riddence"
Greenday

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And dont ask why
Its not a question
But a lesson learned in time

Its something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf of
Good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what its worth
It was worth all the while

Its something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

--------------------

To my friends.....I hope you had the time of your life.

This will be the song played at my service when I die, weather in 2 weeks or in 50 years......I don't want a pubic viewing, only to family & close friends....I want creamated and I want half of my ashes spread in the ocean on the east coast, the rest I want to go to the Oregon coastline because it's the one place I want to go, but probably will never see in person......

I'm missing you right now Aunt Linda, at a time in my life where I need a friend who always knew what to say, you aren't here because you have gone home. I question alot....is God really still there..... and I have to say even though I don't want to believe he still exists, I have to believe he still exists, otherwise this lifetime is nothing but a waste....

I look back over the years and at all the times I've just held back out of fear and it's time to stop being afraid......Carpe Diem.......Sieze the Moment.....and that is what I am going to do.......I want the time of my life to be a life long event.....Experiencing it to the fullest and telling people how I really feel about them.....

I just have to say....

Life has been pretty good recently even though I've been extremely busy......I'm hopeing to get at least one evening at home this week without something to do.....I can't wait to go to Sheetz to see Bruce, I didn't get to talk to him monday cause I was so tired and had to be back at work 9 hours later and I didn't know he was working last night otherwise I would have stopped.....as you can see I'm so exausted I can't even make a sentence.....after only 5 hours of sleep I'm back out the door to work again.....blah...I can't wait till lisa is out of the hospital and back to work.....she still doesn't know what is wrong, I only hope she is ok, 14.5 hours a day is to much......well, off I go....later.